


it must have been love (but it’s over now)

by yurishika



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Break Up, Canon Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurishika/pseuds/yurishika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonight's their last night together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it must have been love (but it’s over now)

“You don’t have to give it back,” Yuzuru tells Michael, who leaves his room with a huge box in his hands. It’s cold, unusually cold for a spring night. He thinks it’s just the AC working its magic, and also the fact that Michael’s relatives’ house is huge and they’re all alone.

“It makes things more official, I guess,” Michael points out matter-of-factly. He’s impassive and doesn’t hesitate as he brushes past Yuzuru and to the living room

Yuzuru follows Michael to the living room with a nod. The lock feels heavy in his pocket, the lock that they had bought in Namsan Tower when Jinseo had invited them over during the off-season two years ago. They had used one lock, but Michael wanted something to remember this moment by, and had bought one, just for Yuzuru. He debates on whether to give this back to Michael before he leaves in the morning

“Want something to drink?” Michael asks as he plops the box on the coffee table. “I think I have a couple of cans of beer in the fridge.”

Yuzuru’s face is red from being outside, and he feels Michael watching him absetmindedly pat his cheeks to try to warm them back up. “Yeah, sure, just one can for me,” he replies when he feels warmth seep up to his face.

He thought it’s supposed to be awkward, but it actually doesn’t feel that much awkward, maybe because Michael’s picked up Kirin beer, popping the tops off and handing one over to him .Yuzuru smiles weakly as he raises his can, which Michael clinks with his can in response. “Cheers.

The breakup had been a long time coming. Their relationship had not been on an easy road. They’re always apart from each other--Yuzuru in Toronto and Japan, Michael in Los Angeles and Manila. The rare times they’re together are usually during a few days of vacation, but mostly during competitions. They try to make up for the short time they have, but it’s always never enough

After four years of trying (he’s actually surprised they made it to four years), it was Michael who had proposed to end it, during the closing party for the Olympics. He thinks it’s best to finally revert to a professional relationship and keep it that way. Maybe they can be close friends after a few years, but for now, Yuzuru has to adjust to life after a competitive skating career, and for Michael to try and get another shot in the Olympics in Almaty. It’s for the best, Michael had told him

Yuzuru had been surprised that he was the hesitant one in this announcement. “We’ve been strong for the past four years,” he had pointed out. “I’m retired now, I’ll be able to make time.” But deep down, Yuzuru knows that’s an empty promise. Now that he’s retired from competitive skating, Yuzuru suddenly finds himself with more commitments--to work, to family, to friends

“You’ll get over me,” Michael had told him. Yuzuru didn’t know why the younger one was so sure of that.

They sit on the sofa side by side, on the edge of their seats, and at a safe distance. It’s time to get used to the feeling of being close, but not close enough.

He watches as Michael sips his can of beer before reaching out for the remote to turn on the television, stopping at their local channel, to a variety show whose MC’s voice gets on Yuzuru’s nerves. Michael keeps the volume low, setting down the remote and reaching out for the box, digging through its contents. Yuzuru ignores the show in front of them, eyes darting to how Michael’s eyebrows furrow in concentration. Times like these he usually has his phone out, ready to take a picture so that he can take a look at this again, remember what he was feeling at that time, remember the time and place he’ll probably never experience again in person.

Tonight Yuzuru doesn’t fish out his phone. His eyes will have to suffice.

Finally Michael fishes out something from the box, a smaller box that has pressed cherry blossom petals in it. “Four Continents, 2013.” Michael’s smile is nostalgic. “Do you remember?”

“Of course.” Yuzuru can never forget. It was after the opening party for Four Continents when he and Michael shared a seat on the bench outside the hotel. The cherry blossom tree nearby had bloomed too early, a couple of petals drifting to Michael’s hair, and Yuzuru, beside himself, brushing it off. He had never expected Michael to be keeping the petals.

There’s a Polaroid version of their picture taken in Sochi. There are the gloves Yuzuru bought Michael before they start skiing in Oberstdorf after the Nebelhorn Trophy, keeping Michael warm in kisses in between breaks. There’s the Pikachu keychain Yuzuru bought Michael when he visited Sendai during off-season. For each trinket, there’s a memory. For every memory, Yuzuru keeps asking whether these four years are worth being forgotten. But Michael has already made up his mind, and so should he.

“Where am I supposed to keep all of these?” Yuzuru asks as soon as they’re done, Michael sealing the box with packing tape.

Michael broods on this question for a bit. “Your call,” he replies. “You can throw it away, or you can keep it.”

Yuzuru thinks he can probably put it under his bed. All he knows is that these memories are too precious to throw away. Michael is his first love, and he wants to remember their love every now and then. “Okay. I’ll find someplace to keep it.”

Michael smiles and sets his beer on the coaster. It doesn’t take long for Yuzuru to turn on his side of the couch, lips ghosting on the younger one’s ear, along his neck, and back up to his jaw line. Michael smells like the beer he loves and the cologne Michael loves. He’s such a sentimental sap, Yuzuru thinks with a sigh, as he allows himself to take his last taste of his first love.

Fortunately, Yuzuru feels confident. His hands aren’t shaking, and he’s not stammering. Michael suddenly turns his head, and finds Yuzuru’s mouth with his own. Michael had told him that he’ll get over this in time, but if Yuzuru’s being honest with himself, he’ll miss this, kissing Michael and being kissed by Michael. Maybe allowing this, this last kiss before they part ways, is a bad decision.

He’ll never be able to touch Michael like this ever again, so he finds his fingers forceful, holding Michael’s face in his hands, sliding them back to tangle in Michael’s hair. They’ll see each other again, in ice shows probably, but it will never return to this.

It’s Michael who’s the first to pull away and get up from the couch. “We better go to sleep,” he says, voice cracking as he starts picking up the empty beer cans. “Your flight’s tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah …” Yuzuru says, numbly, and he doesn’t remember standing up out of his own will. “I’ll get the spare pillow and blanket.”

Michael freezes in his tracks and gives him a look. “You can sleep in my room,” he points out.

Yuzuru blinks. “We didn’t agree on this,” he points out.

“I know.” Michael’s gaze drifts to the empty cans on his hand. “But this is going to be the last time.”

They share the bed, and Yuzuru can’t resist pulling Michael closer to an embrace, lips on the younger’s forehead. To his surprise, Michael doesn’t stir or pull away. Yuzuru wishes for time to stop, before he leaves tomorrow, for good.

 

 

 

 

Breakfast feels like a feast, ironically, with Michael cooking bacon, pancakes, and strong coffee. Yuzuru mumbles out a “Thanks, but you didn’t have to …” when he sits down on the table, but Michael stops him, saying something about his long flight ahead. They eat together quietly, the only sounds being made are the clinking of their utensils against the plate.

Yuzuru finishes his breakfast quickly, and the confusion and worry set in. Should he clear his plate and bring it to the kitchen? Or does Michael do it? And if he’s done, should he leave?

Michael seems to have sensed his dilemma, since he stands up, stacks their empty plates, and brings them to the kitchen, the sounds of the faucet loud in Yuzuru’s ears. This gives Yuzuru the opening to grab his jacket, lace up his sneakers, and grab his bags.

When Michael returns from the kitchen, Yuzuru is standing by the door, like a child waiting for his parent to walk him to school. He feels his eyes drooping--he hadn’t slept a wink last night, and Michael looks like it, too. It hurts, it really does. But he puts on a strong front. “I have something,” he says, handing the lock. “From Seoul.”

Michael blinks at the lock, almost hesitating before taking it from Yuzuru.

“I … have to go.” Yuzuru makes a move to lean in, because maybe another kiss will make Michael change his mind. But he stays his ground, and Yuzuru nods in understanding. “Bye, Michael,” he says, pushing open the door.

“Bye, Yuzuru,” Michael replies, a small smile on his face.

Yuzuru nods again, and he leaves and doesn’t look back.

**Author's Note:**

> \- cross-posted to [taisetsukotoba @ LJ](http://taisetsukotoba.livejournal.com/3896.html) and mizurumonday @ tumblr  
> \- i said i’ll never write angst, but recent events led me too. i’m really sorry if i broke anyone. XD  
> \- the title of the song is taken from the song _it must have been love_ by roxette.  
>  \- just a note: almaty is one of the countries bidding for the 2022 winter olympics, and there has been no announcement for the host country yet.  
> \- eternal thanks to clemencio for being my beta. <3


End file.
